“What do you look forward to this year,” they asked.
Minutes later, I’m still silent.
I couldn’t think of anything…
That is, I couldn’t think of anything that could sum up everything that I do hope for, in the timeframe that they hoped I would answer.
And today, You asked me who I think You are.
In the quietness of my room, before You alone.
“Who Am I to you?”
Of the many answers, one is Hope.
Against all hope, the Hope Whom I believe.
In Your graceful and wise silence, in Your thunderous majesty, in the painful but clear answers… You are grace and truth.
In the midst of pain, of misunderstandings, of crushed hope, of uncertainties… In the chaos and deafening silence, in secrets revealed, You are my anchor, my stronghold, my foundation, my strength, my comforter.
And now, Father.
Only You know when the other shoe will drop.
And when it drops…
When that hits the ground and the cascade of effects ensue…
And what was asleep looks viable once more…
Father, then be my Guide, my Shepherd, my Defender, my Peace.
(Praying, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” (Matthew 6:13).)
If I should be asked again, I think my answer is this, ‘You are my Hope. And I yearn for a closer walk with You, to know You more through experience, to be more like You.
And on this road, not to be the voice who condemns out of frustration, but who points others to You. That if I should help, then they should remember not me, but You.’
I just look forward to more of You.