This season feels long.
But if You’ll have me here, then teach me to harvest — to glean all there is that I need to glean here.
Your Word carries weight.
Let me know them in the richness and fullness of them.
That they be a burden only in the sense of their importance; may they never become onerous to me.
If I should tell of them, let the weight of Your truths be felt, and do not let me add on the weight of pretense for the sake of the audience.
Teach me who I am, without the audience.
You see who am before You.
Teach me to know who I am before You, and who You make me to be.
And all I know is that I still don’t know a lot
I don’t know how it ends I’m in the middle of this plot
Yeah and I found grace for the man that I am not
Yeah, I found out the day I lost myself…
The day I lost myself was the day that I found God
You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. | James 4:2-3
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him. | John 12:24-26
You keep Your promises.
I might not see it yet, but You keep Your promises.
You’ve asked Me for direction.
What was it for?
Who was it for?
Before You seek an answer, do you seek Me?
Do you rest it your trust in Me?
LORD, You know. I believe. Help my unbelief.
Then for continued refinement.
Testing to higher ground.
Because You always lead us to the best place, the place we need to be.
Hear my prayer, O Lord, Give ear to my supplications! In Your faithfulness answer me, And in Your righteousness. 2 Do not enter into judgment with Your servant, For in Your sight no one living is righteous.
3 For the enemy has persecuted my soul; He has crushed my life to the ground; He has made me dwell in darkness, Like those who have long been dead. 4 Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart within me is distressed.
5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. I spread out my hands to You; My soul longs for You like a thirsty land.Selah
7 Answer me speedily, O Lord; My spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me, Lest I be like those who go down into the pit. 8 Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.
9 Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; In You I take shelter. 10 Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.
11 Revive me, O Lord, for Your name’s sake! For Your righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble. 12 In Your mercy cut off my enemies, And destroy all those who afflict my soul; For I am Your servant. | Psalm 143
The story is not mine to tell.
(That, I know well.)
For you live it, and I learn.
What ails you? And is silence the medicine?
I, too, recall the days of old.
Long nights of theory and cases.
Of truths explained, and joy, and peace.
Did we not ask for refinement of gold?
Did we not tremble, thinking of the purification from dross?
And now, your trial, that we may see what is truly in the heart.
(Did we not long for application?
Said I, in the comfort of the land of theories.
Forgive my folly and rash words.)
What happens next?
You will grow. How so?
(Softer? Harder? Kinder? Colder?)
Things will never be the same.
We can never be the same.
(If you had read this days ago, you would have laughed, saying that I have made too much of so little.
But today is today.
And tomorrow comes too soon.)
We thought we knew how to count the days.
But the days go by so soon.
My words do not suffice.
And so, I pray for you tonight.
That where men’s wisdom and patience end, that you may find God’s, and find it an unending source of strength and sustenance.
Our time here won’t be long.
In light of eternity, it is but a blink of an eye… A sliver of time.
But does the brevity of a thing diminish its brilliance?
Flowers and leaves; the pairings appear to augment the beauty of the other.
But some, You’ve set on their own.
Solitary hunters on sky, land, and sea.
And some things, no two people see quite the same.
Creation, in her indescribable beauty.
Creation, in her both her consistencies and chaos.
The gentle caress of the sun over the tops of the trees on early autumn mornings.
The setting sun, racing through a pine forest in light and shadows.
The gleaming wheat field in a gentle breeze.
The pouring rain and the majesty and terror of thunder and lighting.
The snow which falls silently, with the power to put a city to a standstill.
The calm and anger of waves that laps and smashes on shore with command from the ocean’s depths.
And what is Man?
What is Life?
What is Time?
If you should ever think your problem great, then I invite you to step outside and consider creation on display.
It is, and we are, all but a jot on a sliver of eternity.
But that jot is our all on this side of eternity.
Live. Use your talents well.
“Remember your creator in the days of your youth…”
Remember His mercies, for even losses may be blessings.
And things which were and are not.
That is His wisdom, too.