Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.
(Psalm 139 :4-6)
There is not a word in my tongue, not a vain word, nor a good word, but thou knowest it altogether, knowest what it meant, from what thought it came, and with what design it was uttered. There is not a word at my tongue’s end, ready to be spoken, yet checked and kept in, but thou knowest it.” When there is not a word in my tongue, O Lord! thou knowest all (so some read it); for thoughts are words to God.
“Thou knowest me in every part of me: Thou hast beset me behind and before, so that, go which way I will, I am under thy eye and cannot possibly escape it. Thou hast laid thy hand upon me, and I can not run away from thee.” Wherever we are we are under the eye and hand of God. perhaps it is an allusion to the physician’s laying his hand upon his patient to feel how his pulse beats or what temper he is in. God knows us as we know not only what we see, but what we feel and have our hands upon. All his saints are in his hand.
(M. Henry Commentary)
It was a week of wrap ups and farewells.
I am thankful for the end of many worries.
To breathe (with passing, or with anticipation).
I’m thankful for friendship, loyalty, and mentorship. They told me it was the ‘old way’ — a proper goodbye. A proper send off. Goodbyes that hurt. Because separations should hurt — we’ve made it without emotion now. Clean.
But I miss the tug of a good goodbye.
The joys of reunions, the unexplained lingering by the door — 15 minutes after I’ve put on my coat — not quite sure what we’re talking about but not wanting to say goodbye.
Too much food and tupperware.
Gifts — unnecessary, but valued above the item itself — they are tokens of friendship, to carry onward where our friends cannot go.
Seeing you off at the door.
Waving until you can’t see the tail lights.
Waving when you’re not sure if it’s just a shadow now.
A proper send off.
The old ways.
We say goodbye too easily these days.
A proper one causes pain, and makes you genuinely examine the choice you are about to make.
And if — after all this — the answer still is yes…
Then they send you off with their warmest and fullest blessings.
That’s a proper goodbye.
(Thank you for all of this.)