“I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I wish to be. I am not what I hope to be.
Yet, though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be…
I am not what I once was…and “By the grace of God I am what I am.” ”
| John Newton
We set out with our maps, eyes on the ‘X’.
Little did we know what would come our way: The fog, the swamps, the deserts, the peaks, the valleys, the jungles, the springs, the pastures, the sea.
The friends and foes (and how roles change with time)…
And others whose roles You have yet to make clear.
The good and bad (and yet good if they were from and allowed by You).
The questions and answers.
And answers to questions I didn’t know I had.
To realize Your patience and forbearance now (yet I shall never grasp their full extent).
For if such nourishment and excellent environment had been given to plants, they would have flourished and produced much fruit.
Yet I grew wild…And with love, you trimmed me that I could grow. On the road where I thought I would bring change, You continue to change me instead. And with every step, I grow to learn this truth, uttered with awe and praise from the lips of those who walked with You in times past:
I am not what I ought to be — ah, how imperfect and deficient!
I am not what I wish to be — I abhor what is evil, and I would cleave to what is good!
I am not what I hope to be — soon, soon shall I put off mortality,
and with mortality all sin and imperfection.
Yet, though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be,
I can truly say, I am not what I once was; a slave to sin and Satan; and I can heartily join with the apostle, and acknowledge, “By the grace of God I am what I am.”